In every episode of Pinky and the Brain, Brain asks Pinky the question, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Some of Pinky's responses have been:
"I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?"
"I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?"
"Wuh, I think so, Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels."
"Uh... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?"
"Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career ... ooh, it's all too much for me."
"Wuh, I think so, Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?"
"Wuh, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so."
"Sure, Brain, but how are we going to find chaps our size?"
"Uh, I think so, Brain, but we'll never get a monkey to use dental floss."
"Uh, I think so Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu."
"I think so, Brain, but culottes have a tendency to ride up so."
"I think so, Brain, but if we covered the world in salad dressing wouldn't the aspargus feel left out?"
"I think so, Brain, but if they called them 'Sad Meals', kids wouldn't buy them!"
29 June 2010
27 June 2010
I'm a little sore and uncomfortable...
Fairly busy weekend, and I don't understand why. Tiff's away, again, and people are like, "How's bachelor-hood treating you?" And it's supposed to be treating me good--Tiff's not here, tv is all mine, all I have to deal is periodically check the cat food/water situation, and I'm gravy, right?
Wrong.
1. Checking cats' situation sucks--I forgot about the doodoo box. Yeah, let me tell you, if you thought losing control of the remote for the TV was de-masculating (is that even a word?), try scooping cat doodoo out of a sandbox, while simultaneously holding your breath and kung-foo-ing the cats away with your feet, as they try to re-bury what you're unearthing and bagging.
2. I have eaten an extraordinary number of spicy chick fil a chicken sammiches. (Which is not a bad thing, I tell you.)
3. Saturday was going to be "soccer/food/sit on the couch day" -- with all the diet coke I could find. Instead, it became "Tivo-the-US-game-and-help-a-friend-move-in-94-degree-weather-day-with-intermittent-non-cooling-rain-showers-day."
I managed to: (A) lose 4 pounds, (B) eat a spicy chicken sandwich, (C) break my friend's dad's cargo van's seat belt, (D) eat the best mexican food I've ever eaten, (E) hang out with my best friend, (F) re-discover muscles I didn't know existed since last summer, when I helped another friend move and/or (G) ALL OF THE ABOVE. Sweet baby Jesus, this time of year sucks.
4. Every summer, I tell myself, and my friends, that I'm not moving another friend in the summer. Every year I lie to myself.
5. Sunday, the ladies of the choir sang the anthem, so I was going to skip (!) and watch the Germany game. That didn't happen. So I purposed to tivo the game, go to church, come home, eat, watch the game, attend a birthday party for a 9 year old, come home, watch more tv, watch The Godfather and then go to bed.
Yeah, that didn't happen.
6. I can't find the case to my PSP. Do you know where it is?
7. That's all for now.
Wrong.
1. Checking cats' situation sucks--I forgot about the doodoo box. Yeah, let me tell you, if you thought losing control of the remote for the TV was de-masculating (is that even a word?), try scooping cat doodoo out of a sandbox, while simultaneously holding your breath and kung-foo-ing the cats away with your feet, as they try to re-bury what you're unearthing and bagging.
2. I have eaten an extraordinary number of spicy chick fil a chicken sammiches. (Which is not a bad thing, I tell you.)
3. Saturday was going to be "soccer/food/sit on the couch day" -- with all the diet coke I could find. Instead, it became "Tivo-the-US-game-and-help-a-friend-move-in-94-degree-weather-day-with-intermittent-non-cooling-rain-showers-day."
I managed to: (A) lose 4 pounds, (B) eat a spicy chicken sandwich, (C) break my friend's dad's cargo van's seat belt, (D) eat the best mexican food I've ever eaten, (E) hang out with my best friend, (F) re-discover muscles I didn't know existed since last summer, when I helped another friend move and/or (G) ALL OF THE ABOVE. Sweet baby Jesus, this time of year sucks.
4. Every summer, I tell myself, and my friends, that I'm not moving another friend in the summer. Every year I lie to myself.
5. Sunday, the ladies of the choir sang the anthem, so I was going to skip (!) and watch the Germany game. That didn't happen. So I purposed to tivo the game, go to church, come home, eat, watch the game, attend a birthday party for a 9 year old, come home, watch more tv, watch The Godfather and then go to bed.
Yeah, that didn't happen.
6. I can't find the case to my PSP. Do you know where it is?
7. That's all for now.
23 June 2010
Funny FB status updates from my friend JAJ.
- O accepts prepaid swear accounts. I paid 5 bucks on Thursday and I still have 6 shits and a few traffic swears left. (O is the daughter.)
- I've made a terribly racist error. I always thought it was, "knicker knocking." You know, you knock on a door and run away before it's answered and you're kind of an ass, like someone who wears knickers. But it's not knicker knocking, it's called something else.
- I just slayed some yoga at the Y with the wif. [sic] The trick is to exhale on the extensions, be aware of your core at all times, and sit near the mirror so you're the first to know when your balls came out of your shorts.
- I almost crotched a midget coming around a corner. Wait, that's not very PC. I almost loined a midget coming around a corner.
- You know who doesn't give a crap? Fat people jogging. You just can't be civil when you have shoulder fat boxing your ears. They could at least wave back.
- Z- "..my poop looked-ed like a bat-a-rang. And when I flushed-ed it, it looked-ed like a bat-a-rang twirling to get the bad guys." I like having kids. (Z is the very-young son.)
- ... in a surprising turn of fortune for the Jones estate's Chief Laundress, Zeke has discovered the joys of going commando.
- Actual quote from my seminar yesterday, "paramount to understanding this economic miracle are the 4 T's: Tourism, Transportation, Telecommunication, and the other T."
- One day they will develop incredibly sensitive detection devices to alert other riders as to the identity of, "he who dealt it." Until then, I will glance menacingly at the fattest person on the elevator, making no secret of my apparent suspicions. "It was the portly one," my eyes will say, and none will be the wiser.
- I've made a terribly racist error. I always thought it was, "knicker knocking." You know, you knock on a door and run away before it's answered and you're kind of an ass, like someone who wears knickers. But it's not knicker knocking, it's called something else.
- I just slayed some yoga at the Y with the wif. [sic] The trick is to exhale on the extensions, be aware of your core at all times, and sit near the mirror so you're the first to know when your balls came out of your shorts.
- I almost crotched a midget coming around a corner. Wait, that's not very PC. I almost loined a midget coming around a corner.
- You know who doesn't give a crap? Fat people jogging. You just can't be civil when you have shoulder fat boxing your ears. They could at least wave back.
- Z- "..my poop looked-ed like a bat-a-rang. And when I flushed-ed it, it looked-ed like a bat-a-rang twirling to get the bad guys." I like having kids. (Z is the very-young son.)
- ... in a surprising turn of fortune for the Jones estate's Chief Laundress, Zeke has discovered the joys of going commando.
- Actual quote from my seminar yesterday, "paramount to understanding this economic miracle are the 4 T's: Tourism, Transportation, Telecommunication, and the other T."
- One day they will develop incredibly sensitive detection devices to alert other riders as to the identity of, "he who dealt it." Until then, I will glance menacingly at the fattest person on the elevator, making no secret of my apparent suspicions. "It was the portly one," my eyes will say, and none will be the wiser.
11 June 2010
D.C. or Bust, Baby!
So, the wife is en route to Washington, D.C. to babysit some kids while another friend is sworn in before the SCOTUS.
I'm not saying I won't miss my wife, but I am saying the following:
- Jew Church tonight, then Korean food after!
- Gonna watch The Godfather Trilogy, oh baby.
-Probably gonna watch the Lethal Weapon Quad-logy, too.
- I'll buy Little Caesar's pizza twice, and eat the rest of the weekend on it, and the cereal I have at home.
- Probably gonna make a couple of pounds of bacon dip, which means I'll need Chitos's.
- I'll need to buy a couple o' cases o' Diet Coke, cause water and milk ain't gonna cut it.
If I make it to the flip-side of this weekend, I'll let you know.
:-)
Peace, love and bacon grease!
I'm not saying I won't miss my wife, but I am saying the following:
- Jew Church tonight, then Korean food after!
- Gonna watch The Godfather Trilogy, oh baby.
-Probably gonna watch the Lethal Weapon Quad-logy, too.
- I'll buy Little Caesar's pizza twice, and eat the rest of the weekend on it, and the cereal I have at home.
- Probably gonna make a couple of pounds of bacon dip, which means I'll need Chitos's.
- I'll need to buy a couple o' cases o' Diet Coke, cause water and milk ain't gonna cut it.
If I make it to the flip-side of this weekend, I'll let you know.
:-)
Peace, love and bacon grease!
09 June 2010
08 June 2010
A little more about compline...
The ensemble I sing with (Encore) leads a Compline service the first Sunday evening of the month, hosted by the Episcopal Church of the Ascension. It's a wonderful service, and I'm linking the following page so you can read a little more about it.
Compline - Night Prayer
Let each one take care to pray with great vigilance in the middle of the night, for our fathers said that at that hour all creation is assiduous in the service of praising God, all the angelic hosts and the souls of the just bless God. For the Lord testifies to this, saying, "In the middle of the night there was a cry: Behold, the bridegroom has come, go out to meet him" (Mt.. 25:6). ...When a man sleeps in his bed, he must pray to God in his heart. (Canons of Hippolytus, n. 27)
Compline - Night Prayer
Let each one take care to pray with great vigilance in the middle of the night, for our fathers said that at that hour all creation is assiduous in the service of praising God, all the angelic hosts and the souls of the just bless God. For the Lord testifies to this, saying, "In the middle of the night there was a cry: Behold, the bridegroom has come, go out to meet him" (Mt.. 25:6). ...When a man sleeps in his bed, he must pray to God in his heart. (Canons of Hippolytus, n. 27)
07 June 2010
Juror information forms are fun.
Our office mailed 30,000 forms out to residents in the Middle District. We've been fielding calls all day long in regards to this single sheet of paper...
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