Marketing 101:
You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Direct Marketing.
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, “She’s/He’s fantastic in bed.”
That’s Advertising.
You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Telemarketing.
You’re at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Public Relations.
You’re at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”
That’s Brand Recognition.
28 August 2010
27 August 2010
The Over-30 Crowd
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up it was walking twenty-five miles to school and back…. Uphill… both ways… barefoot… Yadda, yadda, yadda I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it now. But now that I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. So…
Dear Youth of Today: You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves in the card catalogue, which was drawers and drawers full of @#*% tiny cards!
There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen. Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week or more to get there. Stamps were 10 cents. Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass. Nowhere was safe. There were no MP3’ s or Napsters. If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself. Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up.
There were no CD players. We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished and the tape would come undone. Our “Ipod” was called a Walkman - it was the size of a book and was a piece of crap. We were lucky to have it. Why? Because before that we carried ’boom boxes’ on one shoulder. And we danced with one arm holding the box up there, ‘cause that’s how we rolled, dig?
There were NO CELL PHONES! People had one phone - at home - and we had to wait for our family to get off the damn phone so we could make a call. And everyone in the house could hear our conversation. We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it. And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know. You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister.
We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600, with games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your guy was a little square, you actually had to use your imagination. And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen… forever. And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died. Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on TV. You were screwed when it came to channel surfing. You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel. NO REMOTES! There was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or the toaster oven which wasn’t a toaster or an oven. That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes pre-1980.
Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd
Dear Youth of Today: You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves in the card catalogue, which was drawers and drawers full of @#*% tiny cards!
There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen. Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week or more to get there. Stamps were 10 cents. Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass. Nowhere was safe. There were no MP3’ s or Napsters. If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself. Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up.
There were no CD players. We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished and the tape would come undone. Our “Ipod” was called a Walkman - it was the size of a book and was a piece of crap. We were lucky to have it. Why? Because before that we carried ’boom boxes’ on one shoulder. And we danced with one arm holding the box up there, ‘cause that’s how we rolled, dig?
There were NO CELL PHONES! People had one phone - at home - and we had to wait for our family to get off the damn phone so we could make a call. And everyone in the house could hear our conversation. We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it. And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know. You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister.
We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600, with games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your guy was a little square, you actually had to use your imagination. And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen… forever. And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died. Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on TV. You were screwed when it came to channel surfing. You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel. NO REMOTES! There was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or the toaster oven which wasn’t a toaster or an oven. That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes pre-1980.
Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd
18 August 2010
Sal's Pizzeria
Three of us went. Seating was a SLOW and complicated (?) process, but once it got worked out, the awesome started happening.
The wife and I shared a chop salad (I had to look this stuff up on their website, to get the names) and it was nice. I'm not a salad dude, but the croutons were tasty, and the dressing, which I asked for on the side, was good.
I ordered the Daria pizza, mostly cause i wanted to try to pig jowl meat that I'd just watched Guy Fieri mention on his show. The Daria is a meat pizza, and I think the first time in my life I enjoyed a meat pizza, and it wasn't just crumbled ground sausage and beef. The wife did not like the texture of the jowl; not quite like bacon, more crispy greasy, so if that bothers you, maybe order a different pizza.
She got the eggplant pizza (the Sienna?) and Will ordered the Adeline. I tried theirs, too, and the meatballs were some of the best I'd eaten. Wasn't a big fan of the eggplant, but the taste was more subtle, I guess, after the other two. I probably should have tried it first, but I dont like olives, either.Not sure I'd recommend going for lunch, it was a little slow, but the company made the wait seem ok.
They're diet coke, which thrilled me. They do the metal plates like Tomatino's, but they brought me a china one, so I didn't have to cut my pizza on the metal.
The atmosphere is a little weird, to me. I can't tell what used to be in that location. But I guess you could call it fun. I was there for the pizza though, and I feel it really came through for me there.
Definitely more enjoyable overall than the other pizza joints in town.
The wife and I shared a chop salad (I had to look this stuff up on their website, to get the names) and it was nice. I'm not a salad dude, but the croutons were tasty, and the dressing, which I asked for on the side, was good.
I ordered the Daria pizza, mostly cause i wanted to try to pig jowl meat that I'd just watched Guy Fieri mention on his show. The Daria is a meat pizza, and I think the first time in my life I enjoyed a meat pizza, and it wasn't just crumbled ground sausage and beef. The wife did not like the texture of the jowl; not quite like bacon, more crispy greasy, so if that bothers you, maybe order a different pizza.
She got the eggplant pizza (the Sienna?) and Will ordered the Adeline. I tried theirs, too, and the meatballs were some of the best I'd eaten. Wasn't a big fan of the eggplant, but the taste was more subtle, I guess, after the other two. I probably should have tried it first, but I dont like olives, either.Not sure I'd recommend going for lunch, it was a little slow, but the company made the wait seem ok.
They're diet coke, which thrilled me. They do the metal plates like Tomatino's, but they brought me a china one, so I didn't have to cut my pizza on the metal.
The atmosphere is a little weird, to me. I can't tell what used to be in that location. But I guess you could call it fun. I was there for the pizza though, and I feel it really came through for me there.
Definitely more enjoyable overall than the other pizza joints in town.
17 August 2010
Shanghai Garden
My wife tried to not like this place, since it's a buffet, and a Chinese food one at that, but she was won over by what I think is their best trait: they cook small amounts of food, and cook them often.
Nothing sits there very long at all. The first time I walked in, I kind of caught them in the changing rounds (there were a lot of people there) and I was doubtful. But when I'd gotten seated, and soda'd, and went to the buffet line, things were plentiful, hot and very tasty.
For a while, I was going weekly, and I think I might have to pick that tradition up again.
Nothing sits there very long at all. The first time I walked in, I kind of caught them in the changing rounds (there were a lot of people there) and I was doubtful. But when I'd gotten seated, and soda'd, and went to the buffet line, things were plentiful, hot and very tasty.
For a while, I was going weekly, and I think I might have to pick that tradition up again.
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